THE UNSEEN GRIEF OF RUKHSATI: EMOTIONAL TRANSITION AND CULTURAL MEANING - MAKING IN PAKISTANI MARITAL CULTURE

Abstract

Rukhsati, a part of Pakistani weddings is a major change for a woman’s life. It is the moment when a woman leaves her own home and stepping into new life with husband and in-laws. Although, it is often a time of happiness and excitement but this change also has deep emotional meanings that are not always talked about. Women often feel sad, anxious, separated and uncertain about their role along with being happy. This study tries to understand what women go through during rukhsati focusing on their emotions and how they make sense of this change. The study includes in-depth interviews with 16 women who have gone through rukhsati. Their stories were analyzed through thematic analysis to find emotions and meanings. The findings show that rukhsati is a mixed-emotional experience. Many women described it as a moment where happiness and sadness exist together. They felt happy about starting a life but also felt a strong sense of loss from leaving their parents, own home and familiar environment. Those feelings were seldom conveyed in an explicit manner: Women are supposed to be tough and to take their duty. The study also shows that women try to cope with these emotions by giving meaning to their experience. Many women saw rukhsati as a cultural and spiritual step, facilitating their acceptance towards the change and compromise and adapt to their new existence. However, the pressure to meet expectations sometimes led to emotional suppression and causes inner conflict. In conclusion rukhsati is not a cultural tradition but also a deep emotional and psychological experience. It involves elements of loss, adjustment and reshaping one’s identity. By sharing women’s experiences, this study brings focus to the hidden emotional sides of rukhsati and emphasizes the need for more understanding and emotional support during this transition of woman’s life.